“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” (Ephesians 4:31 NLT)
Some of us excel in our careers, but when it comes to our relationships or interaction with others, we are not so proficient. We mean well, at least most of the time, but our words and sometimes our actions might say otherwise. We try to rationalize our words and behavior by saying, “I didn’t mean it” or “I didn’t mean any harm” or “That’s Just the way I am”, but God doesn’t let you off the hook that easily.
Sometimes we “bark” like a dog or get “barked” at for no apparent reason. When these things happen, more often than not, they have little to do with the person on the receiving end. Some people are just irritable by nature, but most of the time there is something going on in the person’s life that has nothing to do with the person being “barked at, II
You walk past a dog that is chained up and he starts barking and growling. Why? You didn’t do anything to him, he doesn’t know you. The problem isn’t you, even though you are the one on the receiving end of his anger. His life is miserable and if he gets a chance, he will take it out on anyone that comes near him. More times than not, his bark and aggressive behavior is a cry for help.
Sadly, we as people, do the same thing. We are having a “bad day”, things are not going well at home, the kids are acting up, we are caught in traffic and late for work, a family member is critically ill, or
the hot water heater just died. The list is endless. We all have bad things that happen every day. The problem is not what happens to us, it is how we react to what happens to us. All too often we “bark” at the first person we see or talk to. We are taking out our anger or frustration on the other person and they have done nothing.
When you are on the receiving end of verbal abuse, how do you react? Do you get mad, get into a shouting match, try to out-do the other person in seeing who can be the most hateful? All too often, the answer is yes. When someone barks at you, think about how you can help make their world better.
Many companies that have customer service representatives train them to understand that the person on the phone does not know you. When they express anger, frustration, hostility, it has nothing to do with you. You just happen to be the “lucky person” on the receiving end of the phone. They will take out their anger on whoever happens to be the first person they come in contact with. You can get upset or angry, and be rude or hostile to the person, or you can be forgiving, compassionate, understanding and empathetic. You can escalate the situation or you can defuse the situation with understanding and compassion.
God provides us with His solution, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)
All of us face times when others are rude, hostile, or angry to us for no apparent reason, at least from our point of view. Most of the time, the harsh words are spoken to loved ones, family, friends, or co-workers. They don’t deserve it, but even if (in your opinion) they do, what have you accomplished? Nothing but creating more acrimony or ill will. You have put your misery into another person’s world. Instead of reaching out with harsh words, try reaching out with love, forgiveness, and compassion. Bring pleasure into the lives of others, not pain, bring JOY not discouragement. At the end of the day, life is like a mirror, you get back what you put out.